Life With Soul

Hey Guys,

Anders van Dahl of P4 (Norway’s national radio) recently invited me for an interview on Day Game. What started out as a discussion turned into live coaching, and with my assistance Anders approached women in the daytime on the streets of Oslo for the first time!

Read the English transcript here or listen to the audio (Norwegian) on the Love Systems YouTube channel.

Jeremy Soul.

Part 1

Anders: Already on the way out of P4’s offices down towards Oslo’s busiest shopping street, my entrails are close to turning inside out from anguish and panic. In the middle of the busiest morning rush, with busy and preoccupied people heading full speed towards their targets, this 1.7m tall, suited Brit of Indian origin is going to teach me about something very un-Norwegian: being sober, picking up anybody on the street and getting a date.

Jeremy’s magic formula isn’t really rocket science, but seems simple and viable, at least in theory.

Jeremy Voiceover: I stop them and say ”Excuse me, I just saw you walking past, and I had to come tell you that I think you look absolutely beautiful.”

Anders: I know that it’s slightly less than ten minutes until I am going to try this, and attempt to explain to Jeremy that there are some hopeless cases beyond saving.

Jeremy Voicever: I mean, some people naturally have the intuition and the ability to pick up someone. Some people don’t naturally have it. That’s my experience.

Anders: To demonstrate, he asks me to pick someone random, and I immediately lay eyes upon a young, pretty, classically blond Norwegian girl, around 1.70 m, across the street. She’s busily running up the stairs carrying a hot coffee, with a laptop bag over her shoulders. My chest hurts, I get red, sweat, and with a terrible taste in my mouth I watch Jeremy do his approach and introduce himself. First comes a slight tap on her shoulder.
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As the holidays come to an end and the New Year rolls around, we’re all faced with the same thing: we want more from our lives.

If you haven’t got your dating life sorted out yet, you need to take action now. If you don’t, every time you see a beautiful woman walk past you and you don’t say anything to her, the regret will eat away at your soul.

The biggest mistake that men make with women is not having a game plan. You need a game plan for dating as for everything else in life. So let’s look at some pointers for getting better at dating this year.

1. Figure out exactly what your ideal dating life is. I meet clients every week who tell me they want to get good with women, but I ask them, “What does that mean to you?”

For some, it means sleeping with a variety of women in low-commitment relationships. For some, it means finding that one, special girl. For some, it just means being able to approach any woman they want, anywhere and anytime.

Figure it out and write it down. Stick in on your wall. Write it on your iPhone. Find some way to keep it at the forefront of your mind as what you’re working towards on a daily basis.

2. Devise a strategy to achieve those goals. In order to achieve your ultimate goal, you need to figure out a good route there.

If you want more women in your life, then you’ll need to be making lots of approaches. If it’s higher quality women or that special girl you’re after, then you need to be screening more thoroughly for girlfriend criteria. If it’s a certain type of situation you like to meet women in (whether it’s the daytime, a bar or a social event), then figure out a plan to get into these situations as often as possible.

When I decided to get good with women, I realized I would need to be going out a lot to do it. I rented an apartment right in the centre of town, figured out the local day and nightspots that were full of good-looking women, and started going to them regularly.

3. Seek Mentors. You need people who are better with women than you to guide you.

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Hey All,

Results are in… I’ve been voted 2009’s Number 8 Best Pick Up Artist and Dating Coach in the world!

A huge thanks to everyone who took the time and voted for me. This acknowledgment keeps the motivation high to continue pushing boundaries, developing new methods and changing lives in 2010!

A shout out goes to Braddock, also voted in the Top 10. Keep up the good work, buddy.

And keep watch for my new book ‘Daytime Dating’, out soon.

Cheers,
Jeremy Soul.

Hey guys,

A while ago Mark W blogged about his travelling experiences and promised a Part 2. Here it is…

Jeremy Soul.

How Travelling Helps You with Girls

Back in August, Soul and I were discussing travelling and how it helps your game. I have been fortunate enough to do quite a bit of travelling while I was at University, but this was before I knew about game. In 2009, my game has exploded – thanks mainly to hanging out with Mr M, Braddock, Daxx and of course Soul. Earlier this year I quit my well paying office job in the UK and bought a one-way ticket to Asia, without too much of a plan. Since then I’ve learned more about game, and people in general, than I could ever have imagined. My goal in this article is to share some of my experiences and encourage you to get out there and see the world for yourself.

What is travelling actually like?

Like I said in my previous article, when I’m talking about travelling, I am referring to extended trips usually with a backpack and very small budget. This isn’t about gaming girls on vacation at Spring Break or anything like that. This year, my stomping grounds have mostly been around South East Asia – Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia and Singapore. These countries are great to travel around, even with a limited budget. Transport is easy and, for the most part, everything is very safe.

You stay in hostels or guesthouses (budget hotels), usually for less than $10 per night. This is not 5 star, in fact it usually isn’t any stars! Some hostels have kitchens where you can cook your own food. Depending on which part of the world you are in, it may be cheaper just to eat at restaurants all the time. In Asia this is certainly the case! A local meal can cost 50cents and a burger with fries is usually $2 or more. Generally speaking beer is very cheap, and often very strong, so pace yourself!

You can spend the daytime doing any number of activities from scuba diving to bungee jumping. There are hundreds of amazing tourist sites that you can check out as well. I have been fortunate enough to visit some truly amazing places, however travelling is so much more than this. I remember going to see the Great Wall of China, which was great. However, I went out that night in Beijing with some really cool people and had a blast. For me, the night out was better than the Wall. It is this social aspect of travelling that really can propel your game to the next level.

Why it helps your game

At home, most of us have jobs and other commitments that keep us busy. Even if your workplace is a very sociable environment, it can’t compare to travelling. Being in social situations almost 24/7 really changes how your behaviours and more importantly, your confidence. I used to like having a few hours at home just to chill, but recently I’ve noticed that I now avoid doing this as much as possible in favour of hanging out with friends. It also means that I’m constantly in that social mood and I no longer have to “turn it on” when I go into a bar.
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Guys,

How would you like to hear three of the world’s top Dating Coaches share their best kept secrets for meeting, attracting, and dating beautiful women?

Being an instructor for Love Systems, the world’s premier dating advice company for men, is hard! We spend all our time creating and refining the best techniques to allow you to meet and attract the women you want… and we know that only a small number of the most dedicated students ever get to hear it.

So, for one day only, here’s your chance to hear some of the advice that we only share on our exclusive bootcamps and workshops – at a greatly reduced price!

I’ll be in New York to teach Day Game and host a special Mini-Conference on Sunday 31^st January.

It will be 4 hours of pure content: cutting-edge dating and attraction advice from myself and some of the most experienced, advanced guys around - for only $100. Sign up now:

http://lovesystemsnyc.eventbrite.com

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet and learn from some of the world’s best dating coaches at a great price.

Here’s the program:

JEREMY SOUL on Day Game

Soul is the most widely recognized authority on Day Game right now, traveling the world specifically to teach in-field Day Game Workshops for Love Systems. In an exclusive preview of his Day Game Workshop, you’ll learn how to meet beautiful women in the daytime and during your day-to-day life,as well as how the Love Systems Triad fits into Day Game.

Soul is blowing up right now in the media and was recently voted in the top 10 Pick-Up Artists in the world by TSB Magazine: http://www.tsbmag.com/2009/12/30/top-10-puas-of-2009/2/

JEREMY SOUL on Sexual Escalation

In addition to his Day Game presentation, Soul will teach a second session on his other main area of expertise: advanced sexual framing, as well as getting into and managing open relationships.

“Think about the freedom you would feel if you could see a girl that you are genuinely interested in, approach her, have a great conversation, and create serious attraction whenever and wherever you want. The first step to getting to this point is to meet Soul.” – JD, Toronto

BIG BUSINESS on Humor in Pick-Up

Big Business is one of our top instructors based in New York. He kicked ass at last year’s Super Conference with his speech on comedy, and is returning to give you guys some more.

He’s also developing a dedicated Humor seminar, which will teach you everything you could ever want to know about getting funnier and channeling that to meet and attract women. In this talk, you’ll get an exclusive preview of the Humor seminar.

“His game is built on comedy in set and let me tell you- the dude is funny. Funny and QUICK man- I thought I was quick on my feet but he was off the charts. Great insight on improv and very clever SUPER EASY to implement techniques for deflecting shit tests and ensuring you never run out of things to say in set. At this point I’d gotten my moneys worth.” – GD, NYC

CARBEAU on Approach Anxiety

This one is for all you keyboard jockeys out there… finally, learn to get out of the house and get your approach anxiety nailed!

Carbeau, freshly promoted from last year’s Super Conference, is one of the latest additions to the elite Love Systems team. An expert in Day Game and overcoming approach anxiety, Carbeau is going to talk through his methods of dealing with it.

You can see his latest exploits in this detailed and thoroughly inspiring field report:

http://www.theattractionforums.com/field-reports/110634-day-game-snl-hb9-after-approach-up-if-you-dont-try.html

“An awesome guy with nothing but positive things to say.” – BK, Toronto

This all takes place on Sunday January 31^st from 7PM to 11PM at:

NYC Pearl Studios

500 8th Ave #4

New York, NY

USA

Sign up!

Hope to see you there.

Jeremy Soul

Guys,

Handing over to Braddock for some flirting tips.

Jeremy Soul.

How to Flirt With Women: The Art of Push/Pull

In my years of being a Dating Coach it’s become apparent that the most important and easiest way to flirt with women is to use what is called Push/Pull.

Basic Definition: “Saying something nice and dove tailing it with something mean or saying something mean and dove tailing it with something nice.”

On a more advanced level flirting using push/pull is the art of using both your physical touch/facial expressions and your words in unison. This could mean that you tease her about something or playfully call her out on something, yet while doing so you are smiling, you pull her in and hug her just before she gets mad to show her you are kidding. The guys I know who are the best with women when it comes to flirting, building attraction in the first encounter, building attraction in social circle settings, or maintaining a fun relationship are masters of push/pull.

To truly master push/pull you must learn to calibrate to the woman. Each woman has her own default push/pull blueprint. Some girls blueprint is that they respond best when the ratio is 5 pushes to every 1 pull. With these type of women, they will quickly get bored with a guy who tries to compliment “pull” to often. Even with these women, the pull must appear at some point or she will give up and lose interest assuming you are just a jerk.

Other girls default blueprint is just the opposite. If you want to properly flirt with these women, you will be best off giving light compliments “pulling” maybe 5 times for every one tease “push.”

However, even though each woman has her own default blueprint for when she first meets new guys, this blueprint can quickly change relative to your value. That same woman who would have felt massive attraction to a 5 pushes to 1 pull ratio, will not be receptive to a low value guy attempting such a ratio. However, the woman who responds better to 5 pulls and 1 push and would normally get upset if the average guy teased her to much, will have no problem being teased hard by a guy who she considers extremely high value in her social circle or a celebrity.

Basic Example of Push/Pull:

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Guys,

Word from Bonsai on Stripper Game. I’ll hand over…

Jeremy Soul.

How to Pick Up a Stripper

What a lot of people don’t know about stripper game is that there is actually a structure you can use. In the Strippers & Hired Guns seminar we teach the Polarity Model that Braddock and The Don came up with.

Below you can download a mind-map diagram that gives you a structure of stripper game. It is how I pickup strippers and it is almost exactly following the Love Systems Triad Model but applied to stripper game. So it has elements of the Polarity Model and the Triad Model.

Me being Asian, I love models. It gives you structure and phases you can learn piece by piece. It makes learning something new much easier and it is a lot easier to diagnose where you make mistakes. Hopefully this diagram helps a lot.

Feel free to distribute this, post it on your blog, emailing it your friends, whatever.

Bonsai

Christmas parties are incredible for meeting women. Try to go to as many as possible, simply because they are so much fun. People seem to be high on happiness and joy and full of festive excitement. Single women often get into the mood and feel like having a bit of romance under the mistletoe, so it’s a great excuse to get flirty with people and have fun!

Here are my top 10 tips for pulling at Christmas Parties:

1. Get involved as much as possible

The more you’re an integral part of the event, the more you’ll get a chance to meet and be seen talking to a lot of people, which elevates your social status at the party and makes you someone women would want to talk to.

2. Don’t leer at all the single ladies

Most single guys are on the prowl and checking out the possible “options” as soon as they walk in. Don’t be most guys – that’s a surefire way to ruin your pulling chances.

3. Don’t get drunk

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Hey Guys,

I’m going to hand over to Carbeau – his recent experience is great a great lesson in method and perseverance.

Jeremy Soul

Day Game SNL with HB9 after approach cock-up… “If you don’t try….”

I am not normally one for publicizing my in-field experiences – however, when I discussed this particular case with Soul, he urged me to write about it as we agreed that some of the lessons would be useful for people who are still in the early stages and still being significantly held back by fear of approach or “approach anxiety”.

I say “significantly” held back by approach anxiety, since the experience is normal and should even be enjoyed as part of the “rush” of the game. However, if you find yourself more often than not paralysed by fear such that you make up excuses and take no action, you may want to read on because it is a story that ended very well but began pretty badly – the lesson being this: if you don’t approach, you are only guaranteed to get NOTHING – if you do approach, you are guaranteed to get SOMETHING – it could be as little as getting feedback on how to improve the next approach or as significant as sleeping with the woman of your dreams….

Neil Strauss (a.k.a. Style) recently quoted Wayne Gretzky, a Canadian hockey player, as saying “you miss 100 percent of the shots you never take” – kind of obvious, and yet isn’t that what we do every time we make up some excuse for not opening a set? “I’m late” or “she looks busy” or “she’s with someone” or “I’m on my bike” – whatever the excuse, just cut the crap and just approach – and be sure of one thing – that if you don’t approach, you will probably never get a second shot (except within your social circle, in which case caution is definitely wise – please refer to Braddock and Mr M’s excellent postings for more about Social Circle Mastery).

In this case, I made a Day Game approach – however, as you will see, my approach was done in a hurry and actually ended badly – and yet, I still ended up sleeping with this HB9 after a couple of months of relatively low effort email game. This is why I decided to write this as a field report – since it is a good example of how you have everything to gain by approaching every time you see an attractive woman. Bottom line, this is a numbers game – by which I don’t mean that you approach 100 women and hope to get a number (though that may be a good place to start if you are just getting going), but that you should be screening for quality women that meet your standards and you need, therefore, to get comfortable approaching lots of women to filter OUT those that do not fit your criteria.

And even when you find someone that fits your criteria, don’t get hung up on just one woman – there is a possibility that she will flake on you, or that you might find her less attractive as you get to know her better – and during all this time, you will lose out on countless other opportunities that pass you by. And one further very important reason to not focus on one woman too early is that not only can women sense it when a guy that has options (a form of social proof / pre-selection that makes you much more attractive), but it also makes you feel more calm and relaxed, almost nonchalant, and this helps you to naturally structure your game in a way that works in your favour – not because you are super-analysing every interaction, but because you genuinely aren’t worried about the outcome because you know there are so many other women you can go out with.

Use Hopper-theory to gain a mindset of abundance

I have a group of wingmen I go out with regularly in Philadelphia and we use the paintball “hopper” analogy when we go out. We don’t necessarily aim to bring a woman back the same night, but we do always aim to add women to our “hopper” or our “pipeline” – a list of quality women we can invite to go out in the evenings. I will aim to have 6-8 quality women in my hopper at any one time (any more for me is tough to manage time-wise…) – I will then line up different evenings with different women depending on what I have planned – I know some women like classical music, others are more into dancing or theatre, etc. This then allows me to plan around an event, not around the woman – which is a natural disqualification mechanism. I will invite a woman from my hopper and, if she cannot make it, I simply go down the list. And since I do a lot of Day Game, I am able to constantly refresh and “upgrade” my hopper with higher and higher quality women – those that I do not find interesting or fun simply drop out and I stop calling them or inviting them out.

So in this case, even though the email game described below stretches over almost 2 months, this was just one of many women I was pursuing and was by no means my focus during this time – this gave my game a natural air of abundance – demonstrating that I am comfortable interacting with beautiful women and am not bothered either way about pushing for a date… The fact that I did not over-reach and look needy sub-communicated strong confidence which is a key attraction switch – I did not even bother to ask for her cellphone number until the night we met up almost two months after my first approach.

I have written the story below in chronological order so you can see the timings in between each interaction and who did or did not respond to whom and I have analysed the actual text from our email interactions using the framework of the Emotional Progression Model and the Love Systems Triad to show what is happening:

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I’ve been meeting a lot of guys recently who talk about “getting every woman they want.” Anyone who ever claims that they can get any woman they want probably isn’t as good with women as they think they are.

What are they good at is either a) marketing or b) identifying women that are going to be receptive to them and going after those ones.

Who has a 100% success rate with women? Show me that man, and I’ll show you a fake.  Whenever I think about dating, I always make comparisons with other areas of life (after all, everything is related; there are fundamental principles are at the root of everything). With that in mind, who has a 100% success rate in anything?

Let’s look at the world of technology for a moment. I’m typing this article on my Apple MacBook right now (from a Starbucks in Melbourne – life of a travelling dating coach, eh). I am ardent Apple fan, having converted from PCs to Mac earlier this year. Offer me the coolest, thinnest, supposedly most functional PC laptop in the world, and I’d say, “No thank you, I’m good with my MacBook.”

Does that mean that the PC laptop is a bad product? That there isn’t someone out there that would give their right leg for it? That there isn’t someone that that PC would make incredibly happy?

Apple and Microsoft are both incredibly successful companies, each with fantastic products that have allowed people the world over to do things we couldn’t decades ago. And they both have their loyal fan bases. But neither of them “gets” every customer.

It’s the same with dating.

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