Life With Soul

Independent travelling will rock your world

Hi Guys,

I just came back from the Real Man Conference in Amsterdam, where I gave a kicka*s speech on utilising your emotions when dealing with your inner game and dating women. When you’ve been doing this stuff for years, you have a tendency to look at things from a bigger perspective and wax philosophical about underlying principles in social interactions, your own internal processes and those of women.

With that in mind, today I’d like to do the opposite and offer my top ten practical tips for guys who are fairly new to dating science or those who are reaching serious plateaus in their game. Implement these and I personally guarantee you that you will see improvements in your overall life as well as in your success with women.

1. Stop reading all dating forums for two weeks. Bar yourself from reading, writing, or replying to any posts on any internet dating science forum. You will discover that time spent working on yourself is more valuable that arguing, debating or defending any aspect of dating science.

2. Get a brand new haircut or hairstyle. Chop it, style it, dye it. Do something to it to make it look different to how it is now. I recommend going to a good stylist (ask friends with good hair for recommendations). Your friends will have mixed reactions to it (most people don’t like change), but women will react positively to it.

3. Pick one skill that’s not dating that you can commit to getting better at, e.g. hip hop dancing, thai boxing or cooking. Find a good class for it and commit to going at least once a week.

4. Start reading a GREAT novel (I recommend Shantaram, Atlas Shrugged or Musashi) and carry it around with you whenever you are out and about. It gives you an excuse to sit in a café and chill (with plenty of opportunities to speak to women around you) and can even get women opening you if they recognise the book.

5. Book a weekend trip away to a city that you’ve heard great things about (my personal favourites are Stockholm, Barcelona and Riga). Grab ONE friend if you can, but otherwise go by yourself. Don’t go with more than one person otherwise you’ll have a tendency to “hang out” with each other instead of actively talking to new people and meeting women. Talk to every remotely attractive woman you see from the moment you get to the airport. You can find cheap flights if you sign up to budget airline newsletters; use couchsurfing if you want to get free accommodation.

6. Book a longer two-week or month-long break to somewhere on another continent, e.g. Asia. Travel ALONE. The life lessons you will learn from doing this are worth at least six months of social interaction on your home turf (where you have the safety net of friends, your local bars, your culture etc.). You’ll have to plan this one a few months in advance. Dip into your savings if you have to – that’s what they’re there for.

7. Every time you talk to a girl for longer than 5 minutes in the daytime, ask her out to do some activity with you in the next few days (even if it’s just “grabbing a drink to find out more each other”).

8. Every time you talk to a girl for longer than  30 minutes in a bar or nightclub, ask her to come to another bar/place for food with you that you know nearby.

9. Every time you are on a date with a girl and it lasts for over 90 minutes, ask her if she’d like to have another drink back at your place (assuming you picked a date spot that is close to your place).

10. The next ten times someone asks you to do something, go somewhere, or help them out with something, say “Yes.” You will get into some crazy and uncomfortable situations, but will learn a lot from the experiences and have some great stories to tell afterwards. Making bad decisions is healthy once in a while. Disclaimer: I am not responsible for anything that may happen to you as a result of being a “Yes Man”.

Soul