The Dip in graph form

Hey guys, I’m passing over to Collin B, one of our awesome Project Rockstars from this year, for his thoughts on making it through The Dip in his progress throughout Rockstar.

Great post – a lot of people in the world need to heed these words, especially in those tough times when it seems like you’re not getting to where you want to be.

Jeremy Soul

—

Early in Rockstar Soul taught us about a U- shaped mood curve. When you’re learning a new skill, you’re very excited at first. But as you try to implement what you’ve learned, you actually get worse results than before because you’re consciously thinking about the new information so much. At the very bottom of the curve, your mood is very low, you may question if it’s worth it, and many people quit. But once you make it through the bottom of the curve, the turning point where everything “clicks”, you start experiencing better results, the mood starts going up again. And as you move along the curve, you start feeling the excitement again, and having much more fun, which makes the curve skyrocket even higher, and at a faster rate.

This diagram that Soul shared with us has proven to be very true. Not just in game, Chase shared a similar concept when starting a new business, he called it getting through “the dip”. I can see different Rockstars at different points of the curve. Personally I have made it through the bottom of the curve when everything came together, and now when I go out I am having fun again, and my results are improving drastically every single night I go out. It’s a great place to be. What I didn’t understand is that I have been getting better and moving forward since the very beginning, even though at times I felt I was moving backwards because my results were getting worse. Really I was just progressing along the curve like I was supposed to. Now I know that this is normal and just a part of the process. You HAVE to go through the dip in order to make it work.

The problem is a lot of people don’t make it through because as they move along the curve, their mood is dropping and they are having less fun, which makes it more difficult to stay motivated. But we should realize that this drop in mood is a good thing. That means you’re making progress and you’re almost there. That means you just have to stick it out a little bit longer and you’ll make it through the bottom of the dip, everything will click, and you will start the rising portion of the curve, where you’re having a blast and feel invincible and soon your mood and results will shoot up much higher than you ever thought they could be.

In game, and in life in general, everyone seems to always be looking for a shortcut. A “magic bullet” or a pill where they just wake up one day and suddenly they are great with women. But you can’t cheat this curve. I don’t have very fond memories of being in London. I was on the first half of the curve, and it sucked. It was tough, and I was way out of my comfort zone. I was getting no results. I was experiencing painful rejections out in public in the middle of the day. I was getting humiliated at night by getting blown out repeatedly. It didn’t seem like it at the time, but this was all forward progress. I HAD to go through those painful, embarrassing moments to come out the other end a different person. There is no way around this. There is no shortcut, no trick I could have learned to get to the point where I have gotten now. The only way is to man up and go through the painful times and stay with it long enough to make it past the dip. After enough blowouts, I just stopped caring about the outcome. That’s when I started seeing flashes of the rising curve.

The reason I’m posting this is because before Rockstar I never stuck with it long enough to make it through the dip, to the fun part. I tried to make it work, but after a few harsh rejections and some uncomfortable feelings I would quit. It seemed pointless to me – I was having less fun and getting worse results, so why should I keep trying? I expected instant results and fun times. I didn’t know about the U curve.

But now looking back, I can see a few moments where I was ALMOST there, if I had just pushed through a little bit longer I would have made it to the other side. I wish I knew about this back then, because life after the dip is full of excitement and positive feelings. It’s such a liberating feeling to be able to go up and talk to any woman you want, at any time. If anyone reading this can relate, keep moving along – you’re probably almost there!

Collin

Too much cocky funny can be bad for your game

This is a great post along with the one on u-shaped mood curves. I’ve read a ton of pua blogs and I have to say u come across as one of the few that’s extremely genuine and authentic. What stuck out to me with your post is the statement u made on our relationship with our parents and that very rarely can other relationship match that closeness. I was especially drawn to this idea because this is where I’m getting stuck in my pua journey and all my relationships not only with women but with friends and even family. I never had a strong relationship with either parents and in fact it’s practically non existent. To make it short my mother passed away tragically when I was young and father was an introvert who wasn’t much of a fatherly figure and remarried and started a new family. I’m not looking for pity or anything like that but I’ve come to a point where I am stuck and looking for directions. My main issue is just being able to connect with people in a long term basis and it seems as though my childhood experiences have impacted my social ability to do that. I’ve hooked up with a couple girls as a teen and had my first gf at 19 but it was never my choice… Always the women who picked me. When I first started learning pua I had David D’s material and I started to learn alot on building inner game, attraction and comfort but never pushed to physcially escalate. I’m not sure why… Maybe fear or rejection and a part of me always believe I can’t make this women happy in the long term since I’m not even happy with my relationship with my direct family and they’re suppose to be the closest people we have. Now I know I’m not the only person with family issues but I know that’s a huge factor affecting my ability to build long term social circles and intimate relationships. I don’t know if you have suggestion or direction for me but if u do please do share. Sorry for ranting on and on but I’ve been single and desparate for past 3 years now. I currently have a girl at work diggin me and even gave me the option to move in with her but she’s way outta shape and I still have some standards lol. I just need some help before I start losing all my standards and hook up with UGs for the rest of my life. I don’t want to wake up 20 years from now next to a woman with no teeth so please help!! I’m 27 and at the point where I’m close to giving up trying and desparately need help with inner game, building a social circle, and just being a man who can live in the present not allowing past experiences to affect my judgment. How did u start when u first started out and how were u able to build such a strong support group along the way?? My experiences is that most men with women issues are usually very private including myself and would never admit to another man they have issues in this area so I’m definitle stepping out of my comfort zone right now. Thanks for reading my comment if u even got this far.

If Harold & Kumar can do it, anyone can

I wrote the title for this article because I’ve noticed there are always lots of Asian guys asking me and other Dating Coaches this question. It’s funny, no matter how many Asian Dating Coaches we have at Love Systems, the South Asian (me – I’m Sri Lankan) or East Asian guys (Mr M, Bonsai) always, always get this question.

In fact, let me share with you another related anecdote that recently irked me. We have a writer who penned a book about last year’s Project Rockstar (2009). One of the publishers he spoke to about it had a “council” of women he regularly bounced all his business endeavours off. When one of these women saw the script about a 5′5″ Asian Dating Expert (Mr M) who had been with playmates, models and beautiful women the world over, she simply would not believe it was possible and said it must be fictitious.

Honey, put Mr M in a bar with you and I give you five minutes before you’re wondering why you’re so attracted to this guy who is probably a foot shorter than you (though if he was wearing his famous height increasing shoes, that difference would be less).

Anyway, this article isn’t about all the journalist and other sceptics out there (I’ll leave that rant for another time). It’s about YOU who doubts yourself and YOU who worries that superficial things such as the colour of your skin will limit your success in life.

Let me tell you what that is: a BULLSHIT mentality. A bullshit excuse. Talking with Micha last night on the train into London (we were on our way to do some Project Rockstar training), he told me how he could tell when people were heavy drug users (Micha has a really interesting background) because they would always be making excuses about their life:

Well, this happened to me and I couldn’t help it.

I was born this way and there’s nothing I can do to change it.

I didn’t choose my proclivities/upbringing/height/colour of my skin.

All those above things may be true: there IS a lot about ourselves that we cannot change. But equally, there is a lot that we can.

In Chip and Dan Heath’s book, Switch, they talk about having a growth mindset vs. a fixed mindset. People with a growth mindset are much healthier, happier people because they realise that they can grow to overcome obstacles or perceived disadvantages. People with a fixed mindset believe that they are the way they are and are limited to only a certain amount of happiness by factors beyond their control. Of course, they tend to be less happy that those with growth mindsets.

Which kind of person do you want to be?

Now, let me tell you, when I was younger, I did think my Sri Lankan heritage was a disadvantage with women. I wasn’t too interested in dating Sri Lankan girls; I always liked fair and pale skin. Yet it seemed that the only time a woman was interested in me, it was a South Asian girl.

But then I started working on myself: growing my confidence, putting myself out there, learning how to crack a few jokes and learning how to be charming. And the most important part? I actually started TRYING to meet and date a lot of non-Asian women.

Where am I at now? The lovers I’ve taken in the past few years have been East Asian (yes, I had yellow fever for a while), caucasian, Eastern European, Scandinavian (I moved to Sweden for a while, remember), Jewish, American, Australian and African. I probably haven’t dated a South Asian woman since about five years ago – not that I am against the idea (my brown sisters reading this, I may well approach you next time you are out shopping and I see that curve in the line of your body that I like, smell your sweet scent as it drifts past me, or see the way you command attention as you walk through a crowded café), I just haven’t met one in a while that I liked.

It might be Sun Tzu, or some other philosopher (I’m too hungover to verify the research right now), who talked about turning perceived disadvantages into advantages. Great people are able to do this. Mark V, one of our upcoming instructors who only has one arm, my Sri Lankan brother T, who moves on wheels rather than legs, and anyone who considers themself short/ugly/somehow genetically deficient understand what we all have to do:

Use what nature gave us, and make the most of everything we can.

I now see that my average looks, ethnicity and short stature as advantages. Why? Because that tall Swedish model in the corner of the room doesn’t see me coming (I don’t mean that in the literal sense, for all you comedians out there). She expects confidence and charm from the good-looking, investment banker in his expensive suit (alas for him, he is all too often more lacking than he thinks), but when I approach her and she hears the words come out of my mouth and looks into my eyes, something clicks in her: Who is this guy?

So to you who wrote me the following… verify your sources.

How much of a factor do you think race and ethnicity plays in pickup? Have or do you still face issues that concern your own race when you’re in-field? Do you find it easier to ‘pick-up’ girls of your own ethnic background than for example, caucasian or hispanic women?

I’m asking this now because I recently came across a source, someone who apparently attended a bootcamp of yours back in 2008, who claims you said that you ‘open’ plenty of women, but mainly manage to date girls of your own ethnic background.

I don’t mean this to sound accusatory. I’ll understand if you choose not to reply.

And if you’re looking for more specifics on the race issue, I’ll refer you to Bonsai’s great post about meeting women from different ethnic backgrounds.

Regards,

Jeremy Soul

If your love life is a stats chart, you're missing the point

I meet clients, women and journalists all the time who ask me about my “success rate” with women: how many women have I slept with, how many phone numbers can I get in a daytime dating session, can I seduce any woman I want, and am I in a serious and committed long-term relationship?

I have some fairly comprehensive answers to these questions (and look at my post on Quality Vs. Quality in Love, Sex & Relationships if you’re interested in finding out more), but really, it’s about digging at the root of what the person wants to know.  Are they looking for verification that you’re as good with women as people say you are; are they looking for a comparison point for themself; or are they looking for information to judge your character as a man?

For example, I have been with a lot of women (and I believe it to be crass to get more specific than that), but do I believe that to be an accurate reflection of what it means to be good with women? Hell no. It’s a factor, sure, but just one among many.

In the same way a business is not just numbers and profit, but about margins, revenue, employee turnover, company values, strategic goals and so on, your love life is about so much more than just the stats on the women you’ve bedded.

Don’t get me wrong – certain statistical benchmarks are helpful if you’re setting milestones for specific short-term goals. But really what you are looking for is what some call the Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals (BHAGs), or what “Switch” authors Chip and Dan Heath refer to as Black & White Goals: simple, yet mind-blowingly bigger picture goals.

For example, the one I realised that I have been chasing for years, and now, five years on from when I first started exploring dating science, I feel I have achieved is:

Never Worry about my Love Life Again.

In the same way that a wealthy man understands that money will come and go, that his business will have ups and downs, but that he will always be ok, no matter what, I feel that with the experiences, tools and strategies I’ve learned, I will always be ok in love and sex.

That to me, is a far more worthy achievement than any numerical value of how good with women I am. It’s similar to how Gary Vaynerchuk, one of my favourite business gurus, says that business is not just about making money: it’s about doing what you love, for a living, and going for the Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals, but making sure to enjoy the process. Don’t spend all your time comparing your stats with people around you; ask yourself instead, “Am I happy?”

Don’t get me wrong; I have had some crazy and debaucherous adventures and I don’t regret a single one of them. But there’s been a lot of hard work, frustration, and heartache (both that which I caused, and that which I received) along the way. You don’t get the glory without spilling some guts.

But when I get to the end of my life, I won’t say to myself, “I wish I had been with more women” or “I wish I had impressed other people more.” No. I’ll cherish the memories:

• You, who came to London and left half a year later amid tears and planes and diamond jewellery.
• You, who I called from a stripclub in Las Vegas to apologise for being a douchebag; you, who tolerated me for not being the man you needed but loved me for the man I was.
• You, who I kept at arm’s length, but who moved worlds with me when our bodies collided.
• You, who made one of the greatest international adventures I’ve ever had possible.

So gentlemen, my recommendation? Set your targets, sure. Follow your gurus and verify their credibility and what they’ve achieved. But above all, keep in mind the bigger picture, and live for the memories. They are what will stay with you for life.

Jeremy Soul

This is what my workload currently looks like

I’m changing the way I blog and keep people updated via my Jeremy Soul facebook account (and at some point in the next few months, I’ll probably get into twitter properly too). I’ve become a big fan of Gary Vaynerchuk, who advocates being really passionate about your business and what you do, and expressing that fully and openly to people.

He makes a lot of good points (and I even pitched to him to be a business mentor for Project Rockstar – no dice this year, but as always, who knows what the future brings). One thing I’ve think I’ve gotten partially from him, but also kinda realised myself, is that good dating and good relationships – whether they’re with family, friends, lovers, partners, colleagues or even all you guys as readers, fans, followers and clients – require honest communication.

Writing this blog, articles, doing podcasts, interviews etc. is partly about marketing. I am trying to spread the message about what I can do and hopefully change the course of my life as well as anyone else who’s willing to listen and “join the conversation”.

But that doesn’t mean all that marketing can’t be honest and show a truly real side of me. I feel the same about seduction and dating as I do about marketing: honesty and integrity pays out in the long run. I’ve met many, many successful people in all fields of life, from dating experts to businessmen to celebrities, in the last few years. From my experiences, I’ve learned two things:

1. Having integrity can benefit your life hugely in the long run.

2. Running my business or my dating life without integrity, even if it were to bring me “success”, would not make me happy. I would hate the process.

Screwing other people over, lying, cheating and manipulating others to get a few short-term results? No, thank you.

I feel very strongly about this issue. Years ago, I felt so strongly about this that I went against the grain of almost the entire seduction industry (and in particular, a few popular seduction gurus of that time) by asserting that being direct and honest when you went to talk to women could work; in fact, that it could be better, and even more powerful than the artificial lines, pretexts and ploys that many men have historically used to meet women.

People challenged me and no one believed in the power of being direct or in the power of daytime dating. Now, I get recognised in clubs and streets all over the world by Jeremy Soul followers who cottoned on to what I was doing (and I am still a sucker for attention and praise – so do feel free to introduce yourself if you see me somewhere!) and the current in the seduction industry (and particularly within Love Systems) has shifted towards being more direct and honest. Now people believe what I believed and acted on five years ago: being a gentleman is one of the most powerful ways to enrich your love life.

If it’s true with love and sex, I believe it to be true with business as well. If you treat people well, you build potentially synergistic relationships that will continue to offer value to you in the future. If you treat people badly (or if you “act like a d*ck”), then you may get a short-term gain, but you screw yourself over in the long run.

I don’t want to get all sciencey on everyone (maybe not all of my readers are as into biology and psychology as much as I am), but this is basically the evolutionary basis for altruism (which is a fancy word for “being nice to other people”). Anyone wanting to find out more about this, check out the research done on the Prisoner’s Dilemma (wikipedia it!).

Without going into tons of detail right now (and perhaps I will in a later blog post – when it’s not 1am on a Saturday night/Sunday morning), this year so far for me has been a huge series of sucker punches and curveballs. A lot of stuff I didn’t expect to happen, happened, not least of which being my father’s health taking a sudden turn for the worse.

When that happened, and I finally found time to process the learnings over my last 3-month world tour (Europe, USA and Australia) running Daytime Dating workshops, the power of relationships and the importance of family dawned on me. The relationships we have with our parents are literally the first relationships we ever develop. Beyond a genetic link and genetic self-interest, there’s also a shared history we have with them that is very difficult for any other relationship to match.

Which brings me to another point: at the end of the day, isn’t it all about creating that history? About building memories and experiences? And ultimately, don’t those memories and experiences almost always involve other people in some way?

Look, don’t get me wrong. Money is important, status is cool, adrenaline is fun, but ultimately, whatever you’re doing, you need other people to help you do it, and whatever you end up enjoying, you want to enjoy it with other people.

I found some great notes on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People recently that said this:

We all start out life as babies completely dependent on our parents or other person to take care of us. This is a state of weakness and powerlessness.

As we grow up we work to become independent, moving out of our parent’s home, earning money for ourselves, etc. A person at this level is able to do things for himself and does not need anyone else to survive.

The greatest human achievements come from people working at the third level, interdependence. This is when people work together to achieve a common goal, and is the level of maturity of many people in a mature society or organization. This is how mankind has achieved things together that no single person could do alone. Interdependence is the state of human development of greatest maturity and power.

That had a huge impact on me. When I read that, it tallied with everything I’d learned myself in the last world tour and everything I was discovering with my family.

And this all brings me to my final point: life is too short and good relationships are too scarce to make hiding your feelings a worthwhile endeavour. Whether it’s that girl in the coffee shop (and if you’re reading this, you know who you are), that wonderful girlfriend you have back home who hasn’t seen you in months (you know how much I miss you), your best friends, your family, your son, your brother or whatever, let them know you appreciate them.

Whether it’s with a compliment that takes them by surprise, an act of kindness, support when they need it, or even just a mind-blowingly good orgasm (certainly one of my preferred ways to thank the wonderful women in my life), let them know. One day your life may take an unexpected turn and you will be glad you did.

Oh, and one last thing: realise that with the good will come the bad. Bad relationships will always happen – bad friends, bad lovers, bad colleagues and even bad family members. There will be naysayers, criticisers and those who move against you.

In the last few years, I’ve been called all kinds of things and judged by all kinds of people for who I am and what I do (one day I might post the hilarious religious hate mail I got). If you’re going to make ripples in the world, expect to irk a few people. If you do that, you know you’re making an impact and doing something right.

Learn from all of it, protect your downside, and filter all your relationships with all that you learn so you get more of the good and less of the bad.

Regards,

Jeremy Soul

One of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal to move along the Emotional Progression Model and seduce a women is storytelling. The power of stories is that they can help you in most areas of the Emotional Progression Model (i.e. Approaching, Attraction, Comfort, and even Qualification a little bit). Some stories can even achieve multiple aims at the same time (i.e. Approaching + Attraction, or Attraction + Comfort).

As discussed in Magic Bullets, building Attraction is primarily about having a woman discover your positive characteristics. One way to do this is for a woman to be told about them by you. Storytelling is great because it allows you to tell a woman almost anything you want about yourself. When building Comfort, storytelling can help build a meaningful connection with a woman. Stories provide a great opportunity for her to get to know you better and should encourage her to tell you about herself as well.

My preferred approach to story-telling comes from Magic Bullets, and has six distinct components: A hook line, The Flow (main content of the story), Embedded information, Opportunities for input, Open threads, and the Conclusion.

Hook Lines

One of the biggest mistakes men make is to take the interest of their audience for granted. To make sure that the woman you are talking to is interested in your story, you should start with a “hook line” to grab her interest. You have to find a way to create demand for your story. Before you tell someone something, they have to want to hear it if they are going to listen intently. The best way to gain someone’s interest is either by doing something unexpected, or by making them curious. The two are not mutually exclusive. Either way they will want to keep listening and/or interacting with you to find out where you are going with things. Basically, once you’re already in a conversation, try and create some curiosity within her before you tell a story. Make it your goal next time you go out to have a girl asking you to tell her a specific story that you have in mind.

Building curiosity could be as simple as asking “Have you ever been to Mexico?” before you tell a great story about the vacation you just had there. It’s also a great way of testing out the waters before focusing too much on a subject she has no interest in. If she answers “no, but I’ve always wanted to go to Cancun”, then you know you’ve hooked her. However, you know it’s best to save the story for another time if she says “I’ve never been to Mexico. I’m just not really interested in that part of the world.”

The Flow

Don’t spend a lot of time discussing the preamble to your story. You can work in necessary details as needed – you should parachute right into your story. The first mission of a good story is to grab attention (instead of giving background information).

Also, it’s important to remember that women listen differently than men. Don’t focus on the logical details unless they help you paint a vivid picture of the story in your audiences mind. Make your story one that is centered around emotions and feelings.

Embedded Information

Embedding is when you tell a story that appears to be about one subject to subtly tell listeners about something else. The “something else” is usually positive characteristics about yourself that you don’t want to bring up directly to avoid obvious bragging or the appearance of trying too hard to impress her.

For example, if you went to a prestigious college, you can embed that piece of information in a story about when you were in college. One way to do that would be by mentioning the location (i.e. if you set your story in New Haven most people will know you went to Yale). Another way to do it would be by mentioning a story about the college sports team you root for. That way the fact that you went to a top school naturally comes out in the conversation, and you don’t have to force it.

Opportunities for Input

The best stories involve their audience in the journey. It makes the interaction more of a dialogue than a monologue. Just be careful that the input a woman gives doesn’t take you somewhere you don’t want the conversation to go. The easiest way to get input is to ask a question. For example, if you’re talking about scuba diving, you should ask the woman you’re talking to if she scuba dives.

Conclusion

The ending of a good story doesn’t have to get everyone breaking out in laughter like the end of a classic Seinfeld episode. What’s important is that you clearly communicate that the story is over. As you develop your storytelling skills, then you can worry about ending on a humorous note, subtly working in a demonstration of high social value, or sharing a deep insight or lesson.

Other Tips

Use vivid language: Help your audience feel like they are there with you. Use sensory language to spark the visual part of your audiences mind. As Savoy says, you should be able to see, smell, feel, hear, and taste everything that you were sensing at that moment.

Tell stories you care about: How many of your stories are about things you really care about, know about, etc.? If you tell too many stories about things that are peripheral to who you are, then you are diluting your image, and worse, no one will care about them!

Loud, Slow, and Clear: Generally speaking, the best method of storytelling is speaking in a slow, measured pace. This allows you to tell your story clearly, and gives you ample opportunity to emphasize different parts of the story where appropriate. Speeding up a little, or speaking softly at certain points can add to the story… just make sure you aren’t doing it so often it becomes more the rule than the exception. Also, changing your tone when quoting another person from your story is often well received (especially when telling a funny story).

No one cares about all the big/fancy words you know: One of the biggest mistakes people make when talking is being too abstract. It’s hard for people to create a mental image of your story if they don’t understand what you’re saying, and/or you use too many abstract words.

Keep it focused: Try and stick to the rule of three (i.e. if you try to talk about more than three things at once you will end up talking about nothing, or at least your audience won’t remember any of it). If you’re all over the place with your story you’ll confuse your audience.

Other Resources: A great book that can help you with your storytelling is “Made to Stick” by Chip and Dan Heath. Also, if you want examples of great storytelling to look at, I would encourage you to read any of Malcolm Gladwell’s books, or to check out his New Yorker archive.

For hundreds of complete stories that the masters use, check out the Love Systems Routines Manual.

Project Rockstar 2010

Become a Social Master

Official site: Project Rockstar

What is Project Rockstar?

Project Rockstar is a unique life coaching program sponsored by www.lovesystems.com for six carefully selected participants from around the world to train for six weeks in London & Stockholm with dating coaches, pick-up artists, fitness trainers, entrepreneurs, and other self-help experts in Europe and internationally.

The program is being run by Jeremy Soul, Love Systems’ Chief Day Game Instructor, recently voted No. 8 Pick Up Artist and Dating Coach in the world by TSB Magazine. Mr M, Director of Love Systems Europe, originally founded Project Rockstar in 2008, and will act as consultant to the project this year.

The aim of Project Rockstar is to transform six specially selected men and women into true “Social Masters” and showcase how dating science can lead to the achievement of the truly aspirational Rockstar lifestyle. It is sponsored by www.lovesystems.com, the world leader in dating science.

The project is based on cutting-edge concepts of interpersonal change, self-help, NLP and social dynamics – including, but not limited to “The Game”, Social Circle Mastery, Inner Game, achievement psychology, networking technology and other aspects of dating and lifestyle science. While it is true that participants will achieve the highest levels of dating skill, the aim of the program is to go beyond this and for participants to achieve a truly aspirational lifestyle which involves both significant interpersonal change and lifestyle mastery.

The six-week project will blend seminars, theory sessions, homework assignments and live, in-field coaching in the social arts (largely, the ability to attract the opposite sex, but also networking and social circle building). Love Systems normally charges thousands of dollars for this kind of training (and for a six-week program, the cost would easily run into tens of thousands of dollars), but this particular project is run free of charge. However, applicants must be selected for participation and must be able to fund themselves for the duration of the training.

This year will also be the first year that we train women to be Rockstars as well as men. It is our goal to transform selected female applicants into Social Masters of love, sex and relationships, as well as have female dating coaches teaching on the program for the first time ever.

Project Rockstar 2009

If you didn’t read about last year’s Project Rockstar, you can search the official blog to see what you missed out on.

2009 was even more incredible than the previous year. The Rockstars consisted of a 21-year-old millionaire fashion mogul, a young internet marketing guru, an ex-drug addict turned self-help enthusiast, a rogue Frenchman entrepreneur, and an all-American, army-trained boy-next-door.

Their willpower, emotional integrity and physical constitution were tested as they woke for early morning seminars (learning about dating, wealth and health), practiced Day Game in the afternoons and bar and club game in the evenings, almost every day for the entire eight-week project. Their missions to charm the women of the world took them to London, Stockholm, Munich and Las Vegas.

Their lives will never be the same again. Since the end of Project Rockstar 2009, many have changed their life paths from traditional routes of business school, corporate ladder climbing and social circle limitation to entrepreneurial endeavors, choice with women and friends in their life, geographical freedom and more lifestyle adventure than they previously imagined they were capable of.

Project Rockstar 2010

In Project Rockstar 2010, we have the benefit of two years of learnings to make this year’s project the best ever. This year, we aim to:

* Make it more streamlined. There will be less time spent traveling and more focus on dating and social coaching.
* Make it more personalized. Each Rockstar will be given a high level of personal attention, as well as having elective parts of the program to choose from.
* Get more interactive. Rockstars will be required to perform various tasks in line with their personal electives, for example, a public speaking or comedy performance.
* Expand the syllabus to include Relationship Management and Work Productivity.
* Make it more public. Project Rockstar 2010 is an opportunity to get the world involved and passionate about lifestyle change. Much of the event will be filmed for publicity purposes.
* Have female Rockstars. Wait, what? Yes, women will be included among the six participants of Rockstar.

There will also be female dating coaches to assist.

What will Project Rockstar entail?

* Participants will focus on a specially designed syllabus for six weeks, requiring several hours a day for most days of the week. There will be time for them to rest as well so they can participate most efficiently during the program. It is encouraged (but not mandatory) that participants do not work or at least minimize working commitments for the 6-week duration.
* Talks and speeches from top dating coaches, pick up artists, fitness instructors, business advisers and lifestyle coaches will be featured.
* Emphasis will be placed on live and interactive training, including but not limited to “in-field” pick up training given at bars, nightclubs, streets, shopping malls and cafés.
* “Homework” assignments and special projects may also be assigned to participants.

Women in Project Rockstar

This is the first ever year we’re going to include women as participants (and as dating coaches) in Project Rockstar.

My experiences as a Dating Coach the last few years have shown me that we have the power to change the lives of men the world over: to make them stronger, to give them choice in their love lives, and to make them happier with who they are.

I know that we can do the same with women. The issues that women face in dating are distinct from those men face, but just as there are evolutionary and social principles at the root of Love Systems methodology for men, so too do such principles exist at the root of dating dynamics for women.

If you are a woman reading this, you might not be interested in “picking up” a man in the same way that a man might want to learn to meet a woman, but there are probably issues you have in your own dating and love life that you wish you had answers to. It might be issues of finding the right man, keeping him when you find him, or letting go of your social fears and becoming a more confident, attractive person in general. Whatever the issue, our coaches will be able to help you.

The dating syllabus for female participants will vary from male participants and will include (but is not limited to):

* Makeovers and style consultations
* Self-confidence & body language
* How to get men to notice you
* Male psychology and deciphering their actions
* Finding good men and initiating interactions
* Selecting and filtering men when they approach you
* Going on dates
* Dealing with jealousy, competition and judgment in your social circles
* Relationship Management

If you are a woman and are interested in participating in Project Rockstar, fill out the application form as for male applicants. If you have any specific questions about the project that aren’t answered here, email me at soul@lovesystems.com.

The minimum age is 18 but there is no maximum, as long as you are able to physically participate in all the activities on the project. It doesn’t matter what you look like or what your past history of dating is like. We are more concerned with your willingness to better your life.

If you think you have potential to be a female dating coach (or indeed, some other kind of mentor for the Rockstars), email me with more information about yourself and how you think you could help.

Late last year I was inspired by a good female friend of mine who joined us on a lot of our www.lovesystems.com workshops. She told me that what she learned with us changed her life and made her a much more confident, happy person. I’ve since talked to a lot more of my female friends, and I believe that women need as much help in dating as men do.

This year, Project Rockstar can help you.

The Instructor Team

Project Rockstar brings together some of the top talent from the European and international dating community and showcases the most advanced breakthroughs in dating science.

It is led by Jeremy Soul, who is widely recognized as the No.1 Day Game expert in the world and an internationally renowned Dating Coach. In addition to Jeremy Soul, this year’s core instructor team will include:

Mr M (the original Social Circle Master and founder of Project Rockstar), 5.0 (High End Club Game master), Vercetti (body language and Sub Communications master), Dr Yen (Hedonism & Fetish Expert), Starlight (specialist in Entrepreneurship and Lifestyle Design), Keychain (Rapid Escalation master), Carbeau (Day Game and Approach Anxiety master), Farmer (Direct Game and Interracial Dating Expert), Riddler & Prince (certified NLP and Hypnotherapy experts), Bugsy (master of subtle seduction) and Mattsson (Property Investor mogul).

There will also be many assistant coaches and experts from outside of Love Systems contributing to the project.

When will Project Rockstar run?

Project Rockstar will launch on 13 June 2010 and end on 25 July 2010.

The first three weeks will take place in London (United Kingdom) and the last three weeks will take place in Stockholm (Sweden).

Participants will be required to arrange and cover the cost of their own accommodation, travel and daily expenses. The total cost to them may prove to be significant, but the time they are getting from various Love Systems instructors and other mentors and coaches is easily worth tens of thousands of dollars.

Who can Apply?

People from all countries are welcome to apply but note the below details on accommodation and cost of travel.

The minimum age requirement for Project Rockstar is 18. However, there is no maximum age and applicants will not be disadvantaged by virtue of their age.

In last year’s Project Rockstar, we had several people from overseas. We encourage people from all walks of life and places around the world to apply.

Criteria for Selection

We are looking for men and women who have and can illustrate amazing drive and passion to accomplish their hopes and dreams. We want participants that are willing to give 110% and have demonstrable evidence of this (in other areas of life) in their application.

To ensure you achieve the absolute best results and make the program worthwhile for participating instructors, our coaches want to work with people with amazing drive and passion. Dating success is NOT a prerequisite. Passion, desire, commitment and enthusiasm are.

As a bonus, the ability and desire to make the program successful and widespread is looked upon favorably. Actionable steps of what you could do during the program to make it more interesting and accessible to readers and followers (e.g. suggestions such as video blog, in-field footage etc) will also be looked upon favorably.

The Selection Process

* Applications. Applications will be accepted from February 10 2010 until May 13 2010. Applications will be reviewed on a rolling basis. The earlier you get your application in and the stronger you make it, the more likely we are to select you for interview.
* Interviews. You will be contacted within this timeframe if you are selected for interview to speak with one or more of the Rockstar selection panel over the phone.
* Test Exercise. If you do well at interview stage, it is likely you will be a given an exercise to complete, which will assess your various capabilities as a potential Rockstar.
* Contact. Due to the sheer volume of applications we get every year, we regret that we will not be able to reply to every application or inform you if you were unsuccessful in your application. If for some reason you believe there are extenuating circumstances surrounding your application, you can make these clear in your application form. If you are unsure if your application was successfully submitted via the web form, you can contact me with a short email to soul@lovesystems.com so I can check and confirm receipt of your application.
* Program Commencement. Project Rockstar will begin on 13 June 2010 (in London) and end on 25 July 2010 (in Stockholm).

FAQs for Applicants

Q: How much is this going to cost me? How much should I budget for if I’m applying?

A: Although none of the coaches and instructors are charging for their time, you will most likely have to take time off work to participate in the six-week project (see below). That means you have to be able to support yourself for the duration of that time.

The amount you need to budget for this will vary widely depending on where you are coming from, how comfortable you want to be during the project, and whether you are able to still do some work (or manage your work remotely) during the project.

Previous Rockstars have typically budgeted anything from two to fifteen thousand dollars to allow for their costs. At the lower end, you can find cheap, shared accommodation for three weeks in London and three weeks in Stockholm, buy grocery food on most days and book cheap flights well in advance. If you have more income or money saved up, you might want to invest in being more comfortable.

Rockstar instructors, coaches and other participants will give you guidance on securing accommodation and everything else you need to prepare for the project if you are successfully selected.

Ultimately, where there is a will, there is a way. If you are strong-minded and want to participate, you could always think of ways to raise the money so you can. Project Rockstar is not just a six-week holiday, but an investment for the rest of your life – and don’t people normally spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on short-lived holidays, anyway?

Q: I’m old, ugly, short, fat and bald. Is it worth me applying?

A: If that’s all you think you are, probably not. If you know you are capable of more than life is currently offering you, particularly in the romance and sex department, and you can demonstrate achievement in other areas of your life in your application form, then yes, it’s completely worth applying.

Q: Is this all just about having sex with as many women as possible?

A: The lifestyle change we teach focuses on dating (meaning in this case, meeting and attracting the opposite sex) in the first instance. But mastery over your dating life is just the beginning.

With the tools we teach you, we hope to give you the social tools to master all relationships in your life, including those with your friends, family, career and business. In short, it’s a psychological and social overhaul of your life.

In addition to social coaching, there will also be specific techniques taught for entrepreneurship, productivity, and physical well-being.

If you are solely interested in sleeping with a lot of women, this is not for you…

Q: Do I have to give up work for six weeks to participate?

A: Project Rockstar is a very intense program. To get the most out of it, it is recommended that you do not work or otherwise minimize working commitments for the duration of the project.

For high caliber applicants who make a strong case to participate in their application but absolutely cannot take the time off work, exceptions may be made. Be sure to clearly state how you think you will be able to manage your energy and commitment levels if you believe you will have to continue to work during the project.

If you want to be involved with Project Rockstar but cannot commit for six weeks, look at other ways you can get involved.

Q: How much competition is there going to be for places on Project Rockstar?

A: A lot. Last year we had over 300 applications. Make sure that you spend time thinking about how to make your application as strong as possible.

Many of the successful applicants from last year spent weeks composing their application and sending it to people they trusted to them to read and proof it for them.

If it’s clear that you haven’t put a lot of thought into your application (and accordingly, there are a lot of spelling or grammatical errors), then don’t expect to hear back from us. We are looking for high caliber individuals. Write your application to show us that you are one.

Q: Will I be photographed and public facing if I am chosen to participate?

A: Yes. Project Rockstar will be heavily publicized, so your face and name might appear in mainstream online, press, radio and TV media.

Media attention ultimately benefits you. It might feel strange and uncomfortable at first, but getting involved in media can open up avenues to you that are important. Besides that, learning how to present yourself publicly is an important part of becoming a Social Master.

Q: How do I add a photo of myself into the application form?

A: For the Photo URL box, please upload a photo of yourself to a site such as Image hosting, free photo sharing & video sharing at Photobucket and paste the link in this box.

What to do if you are Interested

If you are interested in becoming one of the best in dating science and lifestyle on the planet, if you are willing to take your life to levels deliriously above where you are right now and only if you are willing to work with absolute passion to accomplish that, then you need to fill in the application forum on the Project Rockstar blog.

Before you do that, it is recommended that you spend time composing your answers in a word document first. That way, you can have a think about how you want to present yourself to us, you have your application saved in case your browser crashes, and you can send your application to your friends and people you trust to see how strong they think it is before you submit it.

When you are ready to submit it (and have proofed it all for spelling and grammatical errors – believe me, there is nothing in a swathe of applications that turns you off more than spelling errors every second word), copy and paste your answers into the form below and hit submit.

Do not be deterred by the small input boxes – you will need well thought out and comprehensive responses to differentiate yourself from the hundreds of applications. Consequently, try to make your application as descriptive as possible to satisfy the criteria.

For the Photo URL box, please upload a photo of yourself to a site such as Image hosting, free photo sharing & video sharing at Photobucket and paste the link in this box.

Please keep your total application to 1000 words or less. If you have any problems with submission, email Jeremy Soul at soul@lovesystems.com.

Please keep in mind that what we want from the answers you give is to have a holistic understanding of the person you are. Questions such as educational background, work history etc are there for us simply to fill in the overall understanding of you are a person.

Jeremy Soul and the Rockstar selection panel will personally review each application that is submitted on a rolling basis. We will contact you by email if you are selected for interview to arrange a suitable date and time (the interview will most likely take place over the phone, so it doesn’t matter where in the world you are).

The earlier you apply, you better you can prepare for the six-week summer program and make appropriate arrangements if indeed, you are selected. So it is in your interests to apply sooner rather than later.

Applications will be reviewed up until May 13 2010. If you submit an application after this date and believe you are an exceptional candidate for rockstar, you may contact soul@lovesystems.com directly with your application. Chances are we will have filled all the places by then, but it’s worth a try in the rare case that we haven’t.

Other Ways to Get Involved

We are looking for enthusiastic people to get involved with Project Rockstar.

As Project Rockstar is a non-profit venture, we rely on the goodwill of our instructors, guest speakers, benefactors and sponsors to make the program happen.

Anyone who can add value in any way to the program is welcome to join in on and learn from aspects of the program (which will vastly improve your social skill) or to simply be part of the fun and adventure.

Examples of ways in which you can get involved are (if you have expertise in any of these areas):

* As a Guest Speaker / Rockstar Mentor in Entrepreneurship, Wealth or Business.
* As a Guest Speaker / Rockstar Mentor in Relationships.
* As a Guest Speaker / Rockstar Mentor in Dating or Pick Up.
* As a Guest Speaker / Rockstar Mentor in Health, Nutrition or Fitness.
* On the PR front – if you can assist in generating publicity for Project Rockstar.
* On filming, sound and video editing (for video coverage of Project Rockstar).
* Providing a venue for talks, seminars and workshop. If anyone has a space (apartment, meeting room, lounge or otherwise) that we could use, this could be very helpful.

Contact soul@lovesystems.com if you think you can help in any of these ways with more information about yourself and how you think you can help.

We are also open to any other ways in which you think that you might be able to add value to the program. Anonymity and privacy is assured if you do assist on the program.

Regards,

Jeremy Soul & the Project Rockstar Team

Who wants to change their abilities with women and dating FOREVER?
Learn more on your day game
__________________
Chief Day Game Instructor, Love Systems

Voted No. 8 Pick Up Artist in the World by TSB Magazine
Voted No. 1 Dating Coach at the Love Systems Super Conference 2008 and No. 2 at the Super Conference 2009

Soul in the Media – Blog – Background – Classic Writings

“Finally, two days of intensive training come to an end and we’re walking back to the subway. It’s been intense, a lot of nerves and stress, a lot of knowledge to take in in such a short time, moments of defeat and moments of triumph. I’ve been in the community for over three years and I had read all of Soul’s materials, so I’m surprised that I still got out so many new inputs and ideas. It has been inspiring to meet Jeremy and experience how he expresses his passion and positivity. I’m impressed by his sincerity and integrity – both to women, and to his students. And I think that he did a great job teaching me.” – Shameless

As the holidays come to an end and the New Year rolls around, we’re all faced with the same thing: we want more from our lives.

If you haven’t got your dating life sorted out yet, you need to take action now. If you don’t, every time you see a beautiful woman walk past you and you don’t say anything to her, the regret will eat away at your soul.

The biggest mistake that men make with women is not having a game plan. You need a game plan for dating as for everything else in life. So let’s look at some pointers for getting better at dating this year.

1. Figure out exactly what your ideal dating life is. I meet clients every week who tell me they want to get good with women, but I ask them, “What does that mean to you?”

For some, it means sleeping with a variety of women in low-commitment relationships. For some, it means finding that one, special girl. For some, it just means being able to approach any woman they want, anywhere and anytime.

Figure it out and write it down. Stick in on your wall. Write it on your iPhone. Find some way to keep it at the forefront of your mind as what you’re working towards on a daily basis.

2. Devise a strategy to achieve those goals. In order to achieve your ultimate goal, you need to figure out a good route there.

If you want more women in your life, then you’ll need to be making lots of approaches. If it’s higher quality women or that special girl you’re after, then you need to be screening more thoroughly for girlfriend criteria. If it’s a certain type of situation you like to meet women in (whether it’s the daytime, a bar or a social event), then figure out a plan to get into these situations as often as possible.

When I decided to get good with women, I realized I would need to be going out a lot to do it. I rented an apartment right in the centre of town, figured out the local day and nightspots that were full of good-looking women, and started going to them regularly.

3. Seek Mentors. You need people who are better with women than you to guide you.

This site is great for that. You also have the live training we do at Love Systems (formerly known as The Mystery Method). When you take a program with us, we become your mentors.

Either way, you need to be inspired by and emulate others who are already good at dating. Seek them out, train with them, befriend them, and absorb their wisdom.

4. Seek Peers. As well as mentors, you need people who are at your level that you can spend time hanging out with and being your wingmen.

People often find it easier to work towards things when they have other people doing the same with them (that’s why gym classes are so popular). It’s the same with dating.

Your peers will help you with the burdens and frustrations you face as you strive to work on your dating life and will be there to share your successes with too.

5. Keep a journal. Keep a record somewhere of the work you’re putting into your dating life, your feelings on how it’s going, and an honest appraisal of whether you’re meeting the targets you set yourself.

It’s your choice whether you keep a private journal or put it somewhere public (like a dating forum). If it’s the latter, you might build a following with your exploits, or even have other people to hold you accountable for making sure you achieve what you set out to.

I used to write a journal a few years back when I first started working on my dating life. Even now, after all this time, sometimes I’ll look at it and suddenly remember how far I’ve come since then. It’s a great way to store memories of events too. After all, it’s the journey and not the destination that makes everything so interesting.

Jeremy Soul

A while ago Mark W blogged about his travelling experiences and promised a Part 2. Here it is…

Jeremy Soul.

How Travelling Helps You with Girls

Back in August, Soul and I were discussing travelling and how it helps your game. I have been fortunate enough to do quite a bit of travelling while I was at University, but this was before I knew about game. In 2009, my game has exploded – thanks mainly to hanging out with Mr M, Braddock, Daxx and of course Soul. Earlier this year I quit my well paying office job in the UK and bought a one-way ticket to Asia, without too much of a plan. Since then I’ve learned more about game, and people in general, than I could ever have imagined. My goal in this article is to share some of my experiences and encourage you to get out there and see the world for yourself.

What is travelling actually like?

Like I said in my previous article, when I’m talking about travelling, I am referring to extended trips usually with a backpack and very small budget. This isn’t about gaming girls on vacation at Spring Break or anything like that. This year, my stomping grounds have mostly been around South East Asia – Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Malaysia and Singapore. These countries are great to travel around, even with a limited budget. Transport is easy and, for the most part, everything is very safe.

You stay in hostels or guesthouses (budget hotels), usually for less than $10 per night. This is not 5 star, in fact it usually isn’t any stars! Some hostels have kitchens where you can cook your own food. Depending on which part of the world you are in, it may be cheaper just to eat at restaurants all the time. In Asia this is certainly the case! A local meal can cost 50cents and a burger with fries is usually $2 or more. Generally speaking beer is very cheap, and often very strong, so pace yourself!

You can spend the daytime doing any number of activities from scuba diving to bungee jumping. There are hundreds of amazing tourist sites that you can check out as well. I have been fortunate enough to visit some truly amazing places, however travelling is so much more than this. I remember going to see the Great Wall of China, which was great. However, I went out that night in Beijing with some really cool people and had a blast. For me, the night out was better than the Wall. It is this social aspect of travelling that really can propel your game to the next level.

Why it helps your game

At home, most of us have jobs and other commitments that keep us busy. Even if your workplace is a very sociable environment, it can’t compare to travelling. Being in social situations almost 24/7 really changes how your behaviours and more importantly, your confidence. I used to like having a few hours at home just to chill, but recently I’ve noticed that I now avoid doing this as much as possible in favour of hanging out with friends. It also means that I’m constantly in that social mood and I no longer have to “turn it on” when I go into a bar.

For some people, this may be quite far outside of your comfort zone. A popular personality categorization tool called Myers Briggs, attempts to categorize people as having introverted preferences or extroverted preferences. What you don’t often get told is that these preferences are mostly learned behaviours. I can assure you that given enough time, even the quietest individuals can become a socialite. Travel will constantly put you in this position, as there are always hundreds of people all around you looking to make friends with practically anyone.

This also means that there are hundreds of girls looking to hook up, which is never a bad thing! During the day, it’s not as charged as a Spring Break or Ibiza atmosphere, but the girls you meet are normally a lot more fun and interesting to hang out with. When you go out at night, particularly in the large cities, you will of course have a fantastic bar/club scene just like at home. Where travelling stands out, is that you get to hang out with all of these girls during the daytime too. This makes hooking up at night much easier and allows you to build massive social proof before you even get to a bar. All this time you are having fun, doing cool activities and seeing amazing sights.

Don’t think that you need to be a Day Game master to pull this off either. While travelling, approaching girls during the day is very common for anyone, not just guys with game. There is a sort of “foreign people band together” type attitude. Imagine being in a city with 25 million people who don’t speak English. It’s very common to go and talk to other travellers, and it is also common for them to approach you. This doesn’t mean you should stop doing direct day game approaches or anything like that, it simply means that each day you will likely meet several cool people without doing anything.

Another great thing about travelling is that logistics are usually very good. People tend to gravitate towards the same hostels or the same general area. This makes it much easier than in London or New York, where everyone likes an hour away from the club. Also, taxis are very cheap – picture around $5 for a 30 minute cab ride. And if all else fails, there is always the beach!

Why you should do it

Aside from having a great time, travelling unquestionably helps you to improve your game. This is true both in reference experiences plus having the chance to see plenty of naturals in action. It also gets guys away from talking pickup with their “wings” all night.

Travel is a great thing to put on your CV or for College/University applications. It demonstrates to employers that you are a worldly person that understands different cultures. If also provides numerous experiences to recall in answering many interview questions – I got a job offer once that was 90% based on my story about being stranded in Tokyo with no money.

It provides a great number of true experiences that you can recall in future when picking up girls. If you like story telling then one trip will provide a goldmine of content. Some of my worst experiences have turned out to be my best stories so don’t fret if things don’t always go to plan.

3 things you can do to dramatically improve success

1. Stay where the crowds stay, and nowhere else. Pick up a Lonely Planet guidebook and look for a hostel/guesthouse in the budget section that specifically mentions a friendly atmosphere, social lounge/tv area, group trips or a happy hour bar scene. These places attract a larger number of people. My friend and I found a great guesthouse for about $14 a night (in total) that had air con, TV and a pool. But there was nobody else staying there. The next place we stayed in was the same price but had considerably less amenities. However they had 20cents beers at happy hour and there were always dozens of people hanging out, even at 4am in the morning. Don’t worry about staying in rubbish accommodation as you will be spending most of the day outside anyway.

 

2. Talk to everyone, even those you wouldn’t normally speak to. Guys, girls, it doesn’t matter. You have to be as sociable as possible to everyone. You never know who is going to introduce you to their hot female friend or who you will bump into in the next country you visit. This is partially about building social proof, but equally about making connections. The quiet guy that wasn’t talking to anyone could show you a great bar you didn’t know existed. The ugly girl in the swimming pool could introduce you to the girl of your dreams. The married couple could introduce you to an important future business contact. The point is, don’t assign value to someone without talking to them for a reasonable amount of time. You are in a different environment and pigeon holing people based on past experiences won’t work out so well – you will be a much poor judge of value when interacting with foreign cultures.

 

3. Sexualize and state your intent. The downside to meeting loads of girls during the day is that you often find yourself heading towards the friend zone. The opposite is that you are that weird guy who hits on every girl in the hostel before lunch. Night time is by far the best time to crank up the heat on this, but you have to ensure that you keep this option open during the day. You have to calibrate this, but DO generate attraction during the day. Take small steps forward and keep taking steps forward. You will find yourself having conversations about where you are from/what you do etc which many instructors tell you to avoid when in a bar. It is fine to do this during the day, so long as you are aware that you must build attraction. Think of it as a leaking tap slowly filling up the attraction cup. It’s not a highly noticeable like some flash club game, but both you and the girl are aware on some level that its going on.

What are you waiting for?

It’s easy to find an excuse not to go travelling, but you should really think through your options before writing it off. If you are a student, then summer time is the perfect time to go travelling. Better still, you can take a gap year before or after college. Round the world tickets (which let you stop in any country you want to) are very affordable now too. Long haul airline flights are generally very cheap if you book far enough in advance.

For those of you with jobs, many corporations allow you to take up to a year out of work and come back to your job upon returning. You must usually have severed with a company for 2 or 3 years before this is allowed. Your career is effectively on freeze for a year, meaning you don’t get paid but also can’t get laid-off. You may find yourself in a much better position when you return with newly found confidence having had one of the best experiences of your life.

In closing, get out there and do it! The only person you need permission from is yourself. I promise you, any travel experience will change your life.

Mark W.