That stunning girl walking down the street looks so busy, so unapproachable and so intimidating. How could you possibly approach her and what would you say if you did?
I’ve often said that a lot of my learnings on Dating have come from tangential subjects that I research for other areas of growth (e.g. learning more about social networking or business taught me a lot about getting better with women).
Keith Ferazzi’s book Never Eat Alone is still on my reading list, but I just came across this link with notes for the book.
There’s some serious gold in there if you can work out how it all applies to Dating and meeting women. Take a look and see what you think…
I’m going to have the Rockstars for 2010 introduce themselves officially on another thread, but thought I’d post some more details of why we selected these particular Rockstars and show you their video applications here.
Those of you who want to get into Project Rockstar for next year, I would strongly advise you to take note of everything you read and see in this post.
TROY BOILEAU
Troy sent in his application nice and early. He’s young, 22, but his application was well written and showed an high level of intelligence – both the standard kind and the emotional kind. This was backed up by his writing and academic experience, which he was more than happy to provide examples of (a lot of guys sent in applications saying “I am amazing at XYZ and can do ABC” but often didn’t provide evidence for it).
When I asked him to submit a video application, his positive qualities came through even more strongly. Initially, I wondered whether there was too much self-assurance, but the rest of his video (and later his interview with me) showed me that he did actually had quite a humble perspective on life.
He’s in this for the right reasons: to grow as a person, to reap the rewards and to contribute value to others. He’s also got a good sense of humour and we’re definitely going to need a bit of that on Rockstar.
KE DIME
Being a skydiver and base jumper for a living immediately caught our attention. Delving into Ke’s application further, we saw that he had an entrepreneurial mind, evidenced by several ventures he got into as a teenager, and was driven by passion – something huge we look for in a Rockstar.
His backstory is diverse and reminded us of Starlight, one of the original Project Rockstars from 2008. Ke has been in a band before, run a skateboarding accessories company and managed an ebay storefront, among other things.
He too is young, but shows an extremely mature outlook on life and has the kind of fire we look for in a Rockstar. You only have to see his video to see the fire I’m talking about.
COLLIN WOLFF
Collin had a slight social circle connection to me already, as I’d given a Dating & Seduction talk in his apartment to a group of guys based in Chicago about a year ago. He wasn’t present for the talk, but he mentioned that it was his apartment that his friend arranged for us in his application, which made him stick out in my memory as someone who had basically done a favour for me in the past (even if I hadn’t met the guy yet) – another “connecting the dots” type story that I love, and the sort of reason why you always want to be good dude and be offering value to people.
I liked how he had taken his desire to work for himself and executed a plan to free himself from his 9-5 job. An accountant by trade, Collin reminded me a little of Aaron Patzer (also an accountant by trade), the founder of mint.com, a consumer finance website that was sold for over $200m within a space of two years of being founded.
Perhaps a little more mature, logical and even-keeled than some of the other Rockstars, I thought he would bring a good analytical balance to the team.
What better industry to be in to demonstrate passion but music? Marcus’ original application highlighted his journey from highly paid New York-based investment banker, to Brooklyn based musician and creature of passion.
Nothing gets me like a story about following a man following his dreams. After seeing the creativity, spirit, enthusiasm and warmth that came across in his video, I was sold on Marcus.
A follow-up phone interview told me that this wasn’t just a guy blowing hot air. This guy is pure, adulterated spirit.
GABRIEL ENGLE
Gabriel is another guy with a personal connection to me. I first met him on a San Francisco Day Game Workshop over a year ago. His attitude and work in-field impressed me so much that I invited him to come help out on a couple of my programs.
As I found out about his life story, I realised here was another man driven by passion. Currently a pilot for Virgin America, Gabriel is in training to be one of the pilots for Virgin Galactic, the world’s first commercial space tourism service.
We talked about Project Rockstar together and agreed that he should submit an application. I showed his video application to Whim, and we both concluded that here was a guy not just with passion, but charisma.
As we’re filming Project Rockstar professionally this year and making a documentary about it, we knew this would be a great element to have on the team, especially in front of the camera. I think Gabriel is also going to be one of those guys that helps the entire group to have fun, wherever they are and no matter what is going on.
ASTOUL KARIM LAURENT
Laurent was a latecomer to the game. His application was one of the last I reviewed, but was strong enough to catch my attention. A lot of people sent in applications fairly late, despite my original notice that applications were going to be processed on a rolling basis (and if you didn’t know what “rolling basis” meant, it’s not hard to google that shit).
Having co-founded a couple of companies and having a rich geographical background, I reasoned that he would be a mature, intelligent and balanced guy. When I jumped on the phone with him for an interview, my instincts were right.
What also stood out for me was his respect. I’m constantly telling people I meet that respect comes first to me (which is why those of you who’ve written me well-thought out, respectful emails probably got more detailed and equally respectful responses back). Laurent has this in spades.
The respect first, value second philosophy is one of the cornerstones of Social Circle Mastery. I think Laurent will take to it well.
HARRY DAYO
Harry met first met Mr M in London for a bootcamp, then fell so hard in love with everything we were doing that he decided to fly to LA to train with Braddock, Daxx and the rest of the LA crew.
The more he got involved with us, the more we realised here was a good guy who had simply been led astray by the restrictions of the culture he grew up around. Training with us showed him what was possible in terms of dating, meeting women and living rockstar lifestyles, but Harry was hungry for more.
Harry’s authenticity, relentless determination and untold generosity warmed all of us to him quickly. Within weeks he had become a part of the LA family. After meeting and training him myself in Miami, I decided that it was time for him to join Rockstar and become a part of the global family.
CHASE NGO
[Video coming soon]
I originally heard about Chase when I was crashing with Thanh Bonsai (famed for his blog www.asiandatingcoach.com) in LA earlier this year. Chase had taken a Bootcamp a few weeks’ earlier and he and Bonsai had bonded over their passions for dating, self-improvement and internet marketing. It turns out that Whim had also met Chase and spoke highly of him, so that was another plus in my book.
The more I heard about Chase, the more I wanted to meet this guy. He ended up taking a spot on my Miami Day Game Workshop. It was then that I saw that this was a guy who had a lot to teach us about business. I talked with him and pitched him on Project Rockstar; when he heard what we were offering, it was an easy decision for him to make.
TIPS FOR FUTURE ROCKSTAR APPLICANTS
Reading through these assessments and watching the videos, you guys should have a good idea of what we were looking for in Rockstars for this year.
Here are some more clues on what constituted a green flag (positive) or red flag (negative) for us.
* Anyone who had already taken a Bootcamp, Day Game Workshop or 1-on-1 training with us already was a green flag. If you claim to be serious about wanting to improve your dating life, it makes sense that you would have taken a program with us already. There are exceptions to this (for example, last year we accepted Whim on Project Rockstar, even though he hadn’t taken a program with us – however, he had done lots of dating training already by himself).
* If you said you wanted to take a program but didn’t have the money for it, that was a red flag. Although Rockstar training is free, you need to cover your own expenses for six weeks and that will typically total up to a lot more than the price of a Bootcamp.
* Anyone who had met us in person either on a training program, mini-conference, internship, or through our social circles and we liked came in with a green flag (conversely, if we thought you were a bit of a douche, red flag).
* People who seemed invested in the Love Systems brand, followed our activities (blogs, posts, newsletters etc.) and admired the quality of our work was a green flag. People who were new to us and clearly hadn’t done much research into dating and simply stumbled upon our site and threw an application together in 5 minutes was a red flag.
* People who blew a lot of smoke without fire was a red flag, i.e. if you wrote a lot of things in your application about things you could do without backing them up with evidence.
* Not being clear on your goals, or having goals that weren’t aligned with ours (e.g. if your goal was simply to become a “pick up artist” rather than striving for something more healthy and holistic in terms of improving yourself) was a red flag.
* Having specific and relevant value you could offer to the team, e.g. business expertise, social circle contacts, or technical skills (such as writing talent or web design skill) was a green flag.
* Writing a clear and well-articulated application was a huge green flag. Spelling and grammatical errors were a red flag. Even if English is not your first language, if you were really committed you could got a native English speaker to check over your application.
* Asking me or emailing me lots of questions that had already been answered on this thread or could be found on www.projectrockstarblog.com was a red flag.
* Sending me emails telling me how much you *wanted* to be on rockstar without mentioning any specific *value you could offer* to Project Rockstar was another red flag. I’m a huge believer in people earning things and not simply being given them because they “want” it (read Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand if you don’t know what I’m talking about).
WHY I’M DOING PROJECT ROCKSTAR THIS YEAR
A lot of people ask me why we do Project Rockstar and why I decided to take over leadership of it this year from its original founder, the legendary Mr M.
The core reasons are:
* It’s a shit ton of fun. Project Rockstar was probably the most fun I had in all of last year. Numerous sexcapades, spontaneous romances, teamwork, friendships and just damn cool experiences already stir my nostalgia…
* It helps us to find new talent for Love Systems, forge new friendships and expands our social circles.
* It gives us a playground to test new theories and training methods we have, so helps us to evolve everything we do and teach at Love Systems.
* It’s a great tool for publicity. This year, we’re having Project Rockstar professionally filmed and making it into a documentary.
* We all love coaching people and changing lives. Normally, we get to do it for a period of two or three days. Doing it for six weeks with the same crew of guys and seeing the ripple effects it has on their lives feels incredible.
Finally, the ripple effects Project Rockstar has on all of our lives can be astounding. Let me leave you guys with a note I wrote to last year’s Rockstars just after they got accepted onto the 2009 program. This will give you an idea of the ultimate reason why I am doing it this year.
Have a fantastic summer everyone, I’ll be in touch again soon about how you can follow the progress of this year’s Rockstars.
Dear Rockstars of 2009,
As I sit here in my central Stockholm apartment, newly decorated with black oak furniture and chrome fittings, the last rays of the Swedish summer filtering through my window, I reflect on what brought me here.
Steve Jobs once spoke at Harvard about connecting the dots. He said that sometimes the smallest of events, even those which we consider insignificant at the time, can eventually have huge impact on our lives.
I can trace back where I am now, which is a place I consider to be the happiest I’ve ever been, to a series of such events. Looking back, each of these dots was critical in making me the man I am today.
Starlight was one of last year’s Project Rockstar candidates. We got along so well that I introduced him to Eskay, a serial entrepreneur and client I had trained in Day Game several weeks prior to Rockstar.
Eskay and Starlight discovered common ideology in love, sex, romance and business. They got along so well that, together with Mr M, they took an infamous trip to Shanghai to party with some of China’s most influential businessmen and most beautiful women.
I was on tour in the USA at the time. On my return, Eskay introduced me to the founders of Spotify, the application currently changing the face of the music industry. He invited me to their launch party in Stockholm and gave me a couple of extra invites.
I invited Rokker, our Swedish based instructor and an old friend of his, Maximilian. The party was legendary. A few months later, I found out Maximilian had a spare room to rent in Stockholm. I decided to come visit and see what it would be like to live here.
Within a couple of days, I was in love. This was my favourite city in the world and I decided to call it my new home. The dots had connected.
Good luck to all of this year’s Rockstars. Work hard, be respectful, and remember this moment a few years from now when you are living the dreams you have right now. I’ll see you gentlemen in Stockholm.
When I first started going out to meet women I might have spoken to a woman for twenty minutes and hardly be remembered when I followed up with her. On the other hand, there are now beautiful women I have dated after having an initial interaction with that was under a minute. Despite the brief interaction, these women remembered exactly who I was when I followed up with them, and associated positive feelings with me. This article will give you some practical advice you can immediately start applying in order to stand out from the crowd and be successful.
Let your passions shine through
If you’re not living an interesting life, then it won’t matter how you present yourself to women over the long run. No matter what clothes you wear, how much money you have, or what car you drive, women will not want to spend time with you.
The best way to become an interesting person is to find your passion in life by living out your dreams. If you need inspiration, watch Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture” on YouTube, or pick up the book by the same name. Another great book to read if you feel like you haven’t done enough in your life is Yes Man by Danny Wallace. The hero of the story realizes one day how boring his life is and decides to say “Yes” to every opportunity that presents itself to him for a year. It’s an inspirational story and I think we can all learn from it.
Do something unexpected
When something unexpected happens to a person, they are more likely to remember it. Most people do not remember their commute to work on any given day. That’s because 90% of the time it’s always the same. However, if there was a big fire at a building you always pass on your commute, you can be sure that day’s commute will not be soon forgotten.
This is why when you read about the adventures of Love Systems dating coaches it seems like we often do or say such random things. Since it’s different, it catches people’s attention, and it’s memorable. However, doing something different does not necessarily mean doing something outlandish, and it definitely does not mean doing something weird (unless you really know what you’re doing).
Check out this FHM article for more Daytime Dating tips.
Jeremy Soul
FHM Studies the Science of Seduction with Professors Nick Savoy and Jeremy Soul
The major men’s magazine devles into the mysteries of the brain to find out what makes men and women tick. Along the way they get some help from Love Systems’ own Nick Savoy and Jeremy Soul.
No date this year? Time you brushed up on your “womenthink.” FHM’s graphical analysis shows you what your brain is doing and how you can use scientifically-proven techniques to increase your success with women.
1. Humour. FHM always plays hardball with women who claim to want a man with ‘a sense of humour’ and not money or killer abs. The truth is that girls are attracted to funny men – but not because underneath the endless feuds with work colleagues, chicks are all a good laugh really. “Being able to share laughter and induce it in others might seem frivolous, but it’s not,” says Nick Savoy of Love Systems dating. “It creates social bonds and triggers positive emotions.” Essentially, not only do funny men make women ‘feel good,’ they have that all-important social currency. Self-deprecating humour also implies status, as you’re confident enough to take the piss out of yourself.
2. Names. Having a conventional name helps women attract more men. Girls called Sarah, Emma, Lucy, Kate and Laura received disproportionately more attention on noted dating site mysinglefriend.com. So go for girls with crazy names – they’re grateful, like fat ones. The most popular men’s names with women are Ben, Ed, Mark, Tom and Chris. Which sounds like a university hockey team.
3. Height. For love to bloom, the ideal height of the male partner is four to five inches more than the female.
4. Intimacy/secrets. Says Jeremy Soul, also from Love Systems: “Be careful how much you share if you’re not looking for a partner. The emotional mechanism for falling in love involves revealing your feelings to each other. York-based psychologist Professor Arthur Arun conducted a study where he made complete strangers swap intimate details of their lives for 30 minutes. Many reported a strong attraction to each other afterwards and two even got married.”
5. Sex. And at last, science can make women into wanton lionesses begging for sex. Well, it can amplify the sensation in the G-spot. Knightsbridge Laser Clinic’s Doctor Eltohamy is championing a technique where she injects collagen into the ellusive magic button, enlarging it to the size of a fifty pence piece. 87% of hungry chicks who’ve had the op “reported increased sexual pleasure.”
One of the most powerful tools you have at your disposal to move along the Emotional Progression Model and seduce a women is storytelling. The power of stories is that they can help you in most areas of the Emotional Progression Model (i.e. Approaching, Attraction, Comfort, and even Qualification a little bit). Some stories can even achieve multiple aims at the same time (i.e. Approaching + Attraction, or Attraction + Comfort).
As discussed in Magic Bullets, building Attraction is primarily about having a woman discover your positive characteristics. One way to do this is for a woman to be told about them by you. Storytelling is great because it allows you to tell a woman almost anything you want about yourself. When building Comfort, storytelling can help build a meaningful connection with a woman. Stories provide a great opportunity for her to get to know you better and should encourage her to tell you about herself as well.
My preferred approach to story-telling comes from Magic Bullets, and has six distinct components: A hook line, The Flow (main content of the story), Embedded information, Opportunities for input, Open threads, and the Conclusion.
Hook Lines
One of the biggest mistakes men make is to take the interest of their audience for granted. To make sure that the woman you are talking to is interested in your story, you should start with a “hook line” to grab her interest. You have to find a way to create demand for your story. Before you tell someone something, they have to want to hear it if they are going to listen intently. The best way to gain someone’s interest is either by doing something unexpected, or by making them curious. The two are not mutually exclusive. Either way they will want to keep listening and/or interacting with you to find out where you are going with things. Basically, once you’re already in a conversation, try and create some curiosity within her before you tell a story. Make it your goal next time you go out to have a girl asking you to tell her a specific story that you have in mind. Continue Reading »
Jeremy Soul shows off his Day Game skills on Aftenbladet TV in Sweden
Watch as Jeremy Soul does what he’s best known for as he stops beautiful women on the streets of Sweden. Also included are commentaries and live discussion with one of the women!
Any idea how girls feel about approaching guys? A journalist from SF Weekly covered my recent sold-out Day Game workshop in San Francisco, and proposed we turn the tables and look for girls who would be interested in some dating coaching. Starlight posted this blog about what we found out.
Jeremy Soul
Girl Game
So, last weekend Soul, Bonsai and I ran a sold-out Day Game workshop in San Francisco. SF Weekly sent out a camera crew and female reporter to cover the event, which was fun in the sense that sometimes girls would see the photographer’s lens poking out of the bushes while we were in set in Union Square!
Anyhow, after the event ended, over a few drinks, the reporter threw out the idea: “Hey, how about we put up a Twitter alert for 6 girls looking to improve their love lives with a few professional dating coaches?”
Hmm…coach girls on how to approach & open guys? Sounds fun. A whole new storyline for SF Weekly to play with. And the chance to put a lot of brainstorming with Soul and Whim to work.
So we showed up in the Marina at 8p to meet the 6 lucky ladies.
There was a tall blond personal trainer looking to meet potential mates outside of her profession, a twentysomething Asian advertising exec that just loathed being approached by guys…but yearned to meet new people and build connections in neutral territory before even broaching intimacy.
We sat outside under the clear night sky and heat lamps, getting a feel for all of there relationship lives of late. A lot of interesting stuff came up.
Project Rockstar is a unique life coaching program sponsored by www.lovesystems.com for six carefully selected participants from around the world to train for six weeks in London & Stockholm with dating coaches, pick-up artists, fitness trainers, entrepreneurs, and other self-help experts in Europe and internationally.
The program is being run by Jeremy Soul, Love Systems’ Chief Day Game Instructor, recently voted No. 8 Pick Up Artist and Dating Coach in the world by TSB Magazine. Mr M, Director of Love Systems Europe, originally founded Project Rockstar in 2008, and will act as consultant to the project this year.
The aim of Project Rockstar is to transform six specially selected men and women into true “Social Masters” and showcase how dating science can lead to the achievement of the truly aspirational Rockstar lifestyle. It is sponsored by www.lovesystems.com, the world leader in dating science.
The project is based on cutting-edge concepts of interpersonal change, self-help, NLP and social dynamics – including, but not limited to “The Game”, Social Circle Mastery, Inner Game, achievement psychology, networking technology and other aspects of dating and lifestyle science. While it is true that participants will achieve the highest levels of dating skill, the aim of the program is to go beyond this and for participants to achieve a truly aspirational lifestyle which involves both significant interpersonal change and lifestyle mastery.
The six-week project will blend seminars, theory sessions, homework assignments and live, in-field coaching in the social arts (largely, the ability to attract the opposite sex, but also networking and social circle building). Love Systems normally charges thousands of dollars for this kind of training (and for a six-week program, the cost would easily run into tens of thousands of dollars), but this particular project is run free of charge. However, applicants must be selected for participation and must be able to fund themselves for the duration of the training.
This year will also be the first year that we train women to be Rockstars as well as men. It is our goal to transform selected female applicants into Social Masters of love, sex and relationships, as well as have female dating coaches teaching on the program for the first time ever.
FHM Studies the Science of Seduction with Professors Nick Savoy and Jeremy Soul
The major men’s magazine devles into the mysteries of the brain to find out what makes men and women tick. Along the way they get some help from Love Systems’ own Nick Savoy and Jeremy Soul.
No date this year? Time you brushed up on your “womenthink.” FHM’s graphical analysis shows you what your brain is doing and how you can use scientifically-proven techniques to increase your success with women.
1. Humour.
FHM always plays hardball with women who claim to want a man with ‘a sense of humour’ and not money or killer abs. The truth is that girls are attracted to funny men – but not because underneath the endless feuds with work colleagues, chicks are all a good laugh really. “Being able to share laughter and induce it in others might seem frivolous, but it’s not,” says Nick Savoy of Love Systems dating. “It creates social bonds and triggers positive emotions.” Essentially, not only do funny men make women ‘feel good,’ they have that all-important social currency. Self-deprecating humour also implies status, as you’re confident enough to take the piss out of yourself.
2. Names.
Having a conventional name helps women attract more men. Girls called Sarah, Emma, Lucy, Kate and Laura received disproportionately more attention on noted dating site mysinglefriend.com. So go for girls with crazy names – they’re grateful, like fat ones. The most popular men’s names with women are Ben, Ed, Mark, Tom and Chris. Which sounds like a university hockey team.
Jeremy Soul Tells a Swedish Newspaper that He Can Help Anyone Get a Girl
Major Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet interviews Jeremy Soul on his pick up and teaching techniques.
Today Jeremy Soul teaches the art of dating. As a school boy back in England he was very shy. “Only when I was 18 did I become able to talk to girls. Now I think of it as any other skill. Just like you can go to a gym to get stronger, you can train your social ability.”
Jeremy Soul is a pickup pro
“A life companion or an amorous adventure – you can get what you want within six months.”
Jeremy Soul, 26, is an expert at dating, especially in the daytime.
“Not to be arrogant, but I can help all men – except those who aren’t ready to make a change.”
Jeremy Soul works for an American company arranging workshops and seminars where he teaches men to become “successful” with women.
“We teach the whole spectrum; it’s not at all just about getting laid. Some of our clients want a wife, others are virgins and have never been on a date, and some meet women but want to meet other types of women,” Jeremy Soul says.
Many advantages
His own specialty is “daytime dating” which may sound like a small niche. But according to Jeremy Soul it’s about finding new “hunting grounds.”
“The traditional way of getting together is through friends, at work or at clubs and bars. And that can be very limiting.”
